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תקציר הפרק הקודם: גדי וטסה משכירים חדר אצל אבהטי למרות ואולי בגלל התנהגותה הקיצונית

 

 

שעות רבות עברו עלינו בישיבה במטבחה של אבהטי. לא חשנו בחלוף הזמן, סיפוריה מגרים את דימיוננו, אישיותיה האקסצנטרית כובשת את לבבנו. היום החל להחשיך מחוץ לחלון אך נשארנו נטועים בכיסאנו, מקשיבים בעניין ולוגמים ספל רביעי של תה מהביל.

"אז מה קרה באשראם לאחר מותו של אושו?" שאלתי ועיניה של אבהטי התרחבו בתגובה.

"כשאושו מת אוכלי הנבלות יצאו מחוריהם והחלו לנגוס עד שחיסלו את המקום," חרקה בשיניה, נחיריה רוטטים בזעם מחריד.

"סליחה?"

"משרתי הממון, שליחי הגיהנום, אנשי עסקים ממולחים שהחלו להשתלט על כל חלקה טובה בפונה."

"אבל איך הם הצליחו? האם החסידים לא גילו התנגדות לפלישה הבוטה של הגשמי אל עולמם הרוחני?"

"כמובן שגילינו התנגדות," אמרה אבהטי, "אך היה זה קרב אבוד מראש מכיוון שרבים מאותם אנשי עסקים היו חלק אורגני מהאשראם. כמעט כל המשרות המנהלתיות והתיפעולתיות היו בחזקתם."

"עוד בחייו של המאסטר?"

"למה אתה מופתע? מתמיד היו אנשי עסקים בסביבתו ואין זה פלא, הרי לא צריך להיות גאון גדול בכדי לזהות את הפוטנציאל הכלכלי הטמון באישיות נעלה כשל אושו."

"אז אני מבין שהפסדתם את המאבק מולם."

"ומהר מכפי שציפינו. למען האמת, רוב המתנגדים לעריצותם של העסקנים עזבו עוד לפני שהקרב על השליטה באשראם החל."

"מדוע?"

"מפני שהמחירים לשהיה באשראם האמירו ורובם היו מקומיים מחוסרי דולרים. הם נאלצו לפרוש."

אבהטי הסבירה שהמתנגדים המעטים שנשארו נחשפו במהרה למסכת שלמה של לחצים, איומים ואף אלימות קיצונית.

"מה איתך?" שאלתי והיא נאנחה והעבירה יד על הצלקת שלאורך פניה.

"זה המחיר שאני שילמתי על התנגדותי."

"נורא ואיום."

"יצאתי בזול," פלטה בחיוך מריר. "אל תשכחו היכן אתם נמצאים. לפונה אומנם יש חזות אירופאית אבל היא עדיין הודו, מקום בו ניתן לחסל כל אדם תמורת חופן של רופי. תן לי חמישים רופי ואמצא לך אלף קבצנים שיעוטו על המשימה. תן לי מאה רופי ואשכור לך שוטר."

"שוטר?"

"הפרצוף שלי זה עבודה של שוטר. שני שוטרים למען האמת."


באישון הלילה השוטרים הגיעו לביתה ופרצו את הדלת. הם היכו אותה, קרעו את בגדיה ולאחר שנאנסה שיספו את צד פניה במאכלת ארוכה.

"שמרי מרחק מהאשראם," הזהירו אותה לפני שעזבו. "אחרת בפעם הבאה לא ישאר ממך דבר בר תיקון."

"ומאז לא התקרבת לאשראם?"

"וגם לא נשאתי קולי כנגד מעשיהם. הם זכו ואני הפסדתי, הם נשארו ואני הוכרחתי ללכת מבלי לשוב."

אבהטי החלה למנות את מספר השינויים, המקוללים לטעמה, שעברו על האשראם מאז מותו של אושו.

"האם גם בדיקות האיידס ה חלק מאותן תקנות חדשות?" ניסיתי להכניס טרוניה משלי.

"כן," הנהנה. "אבל היא היחידה שניתן לראות כהגיונית."

"הגיונית?" שאלנו כפה אחד. "דווקא לדעתנו זה אחד הדברים המטופשים ביותר ששמענו מעודנו. שירותים נגועים באיידס – מאיפה צמחה השטות הזאת ולשם מה?"

"שוקולד," אמרה אבהטי בחיוך.

"שוקולד?"

"כן, שוקולד."

חיכינו להסבר אך היא רק ישבה ובחנה אותנו בשתיקה. היתה לה הבעה משועשעת, עיניה בוהקות בניצוץ שובבני, מגרה את סקרנותינו.

"למה שוקולד לכל הרוחות?" התפרצתי לבסוף.

"כי שוקולד," לחשה במתיקות, סומק עולה בלחייה. "זה השם שאושו נתן ליחסי מין."

מסתבר שבתורתו של אושו, כמו ברבות מהתורות האיזוטריות, האובססיביות האנושית באשר למיניות נחשבה כאבן נגף בדרך להתעלות רוחנית. אושו טען שהעניין הכמעט כפייתי במין נובע מחינוך שמרני ואמונות טפלות.

"המאסטר זיהה שבעיות רבות וקשות בחיי האדם נובעת מחסך מיני," אמרה אבהטי. "ושהדרך לנטרל את הגורם לחסך היא פשוט למלא את החסר."

"שוקולד," הזכירה לה טסה.

"תחשבו על ילדים שרוצים שוקולד אך לא מקבלים, או שכן מקבלים אבל בתקצוב חסכני ותוך כדי נאומים מייגעים על עד כמה הדבר משמין, גורם לפצעי אקנה ואפילו מחליא. ילדים שכאלה גדלים בתחושה של חסך מהול בפחד, של רצון לעוד המעורב בחשש מהשמנה ותחלואה. עכשיו, נסו לשער מה היה קורה לו ההורים ,במקום להזהיר, להפחיד ולמנוע, היו מאפשרים לילדים לספק את תאוותם."

"חזירות?" הצעתי.

"בשלב הראשוני, אולי," חייכה אבהטי. "אבל אני מבטיחה לך, כל ילד, לאחר החפיסה הראשונה או השניה, ילמד לרסן את עצמו משתי סיבות עיקריות."

"והן?"

"חוסר הרצון בכאבי בטן וההכרה בעובדה ששוקולד, בסך הכל, זה לא עניין כזה גדול."

היא הביטה בנו כמחכה לתגובה אך שנינו נותרנו חרישיים.

"הבנתם?" שאלה. הרמתי את עיני אליה בהבעה תמימה.

"אני יכולה להבין את הקשר בין בדיקות האיידס לקיום יחסי מין," אמרה טסה. "אבל עדיין לא את הקשר לחדרי השרותים."

"אני אסביר," קראתי לפני שאבהטי יכלה לענות. "זה די פשוט אם את חושבת על זה. עודף קיום יחסי מין, כמו שוקולד, גורם לכאבי בטן ולשהיה ממושכת בשרותים. ואם כבר שרותים אז תסכימו איתי – עדיף שיהיו נטולי מחלות מין!" פרצתי בצחוק מטורף, מתעלם מנזיפותיה של טסה ומאבהטי שהביטה בי בהבעה של רחמים מהולים בתיעוב.

"הוא מפגר?" שמעתי אותה שואלת ומילותיה כמו נפחו חיים בצחוקי הדועך.


"גם אני תוהה על כך," גנחה טסה ודחקה בי עם מרפקה. "נו כבר תרגע, תפסיק לעשות בושות."

לבקשתנו, עברה אבהטי לספר אודות הדרך בה פילוסופיית 'המין כשוקולד' של אושו באה לידי ביטוי בעשייה באשראם.

"אחת הדוגמאות הטובות שעולות בראשי היא 'מדיטציית שלושים וחמישה הימים'," אמרה, "שלא רק היתה אחת המדיטציות החביבות ביותר על אושו אלא גם מהאפקטביות ביותר לטיפול בקבעון המיני."

לצורך עריכת המדיטציה היה אושו מגייס שבעים איש – שלושים וחמש נשים ושלושים וחמישה גברים. בכל יום הוא היה מחלק אותם לזוגות ומפעיל אותם בתרגולים רוחניים ואינטימייים כששגולת הכותרת היתה מגיעה בערב, כשכל זוג היה מתייחד בחדרו ומקיים יחסי מין.

"וחילופי הזוגות הללו לא יצרו בעיות?" שאלה טסה. "לי זה נשמע כמו מתכון בטוח לקנאה, כאב ומריבות."

"נהפוך הוא! תחשבי על זה לרגע, אם בכל יום יש לך פרטנר אחר את לומדת במהרה להתנתק מהרכושנות המטורפת בנוגע לבן הזוג. הקנאה מתמוססת ואין על מה לריב. כמו שאמרתי בהתחלה, כשאת אוכלת את כל החפיסה, השוקולד מאבד ממשמעותו הסימבולית כאובייקט התאווה."

אבהטי סיימה והביטה בנו במבט מסתורי ועמוק שהקשה עליי לשלוט במילים שבקשו לחמוק מפי.

"מה אתה מחייך?" שאלה בעיניים מאיימות, ידה שנחה על השולחן נקפצת לאגרוף.

"יש לי שאלה."

"מזה בדיוק חששתי. אוקיי, קדימה, תוציא אותה החוצה. בוא ונשמע את החכמה הבאה."

"שום חכמה," אמרתי בקול פגוע. "בסך הכל רציתי לדעת מה עשה אושו כשכל זה התרחש מסביבו. איך הוא הצליח לשלוט בנעשה?"

"אושו לא רק הנחה או פיקח על המדיטציות, טפשון שכמותך," אמרה. "הוא היה לוקח חלק פעיל בכולן. אושו היה אחד הגברים מהשלושים וחמישה. הוא…"

"הוא היה אחד מהשלושים וחמישה?" עצרתי את שצף דיבורה.

"כן. מה הבעיה?"

"שום בעיה," אמרתי והסבתי פני ממנה, כובש התקף צחוק חדש שאיים לפרוץ החוצה. בניגוד לשיטתו, נראה שלמדיטציית שלושים וחמישה הימים היתה השפעה הפוכה על אושו. הוא לא נפתר משוקולד, לא לקה בכאבי בטן או בחוסר עניין – נהפוך הוא.

אם המדיטציה לימדה את אושו דבר וחצי דבר הרי ודאי היתה זאת ההכרה שהוא ממש, אבל ממש אוהב שוקולד…

 *

לאחר השיחה הממושכת יצאנו לארוחת ערב במסעדה עליה המליצה אבהטי.

"האוכל מצויין והמחירים סבירים," הבטיחה. "לא פחות חשוב – במסעדה הזאת אין סיכוי שתפגשו מישהו מחסידי האשראם."

מונית חיכתה לנו בכניסה לביתה ואבהטי נתנה לנהג הנחיות לפני שקפצנו פנימה. נסענו במשך מספר דקות, מתרחקים מהאשראם אל אזור בעל צביון מקומי. הרכב עצר לאחר כעשר דקות נסיעה בקרן רחוב שוקקת חיים. אורות מסעדות וחנויות ריצדו למולנו, רוכלים מציגים מרכולתיהם ללקוחות פוטנציאלים, קבצנים פושטים ידיהם אל העוברים ושבים, רכבים חולפים בשעטה, באי סדר וברעש מחריד. הנהג הורה אל עבר אחת המסעדות והניד ראשו לשלילה כשביקשנו לשלם.

"בדרך חזרה," אמר. "הגברת אבהטי בקשה שאחכה לכם עד שתסיימו את הארוחה."

בכניסה למסעדה נעצרתי ושאפתי אוויר מלוא ריאותי. האוויר היה עכור מענני עשן ומתובל בניחוחות צואה וזבל, כיאה וכראוי לרחוב הודי אותנטי. חייכתי בהנאה צרופה, תחושה של שיבה למציאות נוסכת רוגע באבריי. גם המסעדה ניחנה בצביון המקומי  ; המטבח מטונף, הלקוחות רעשניים והשירות איטי ומייגע. ישבנו שם במשך שעה ארוכה, מביטים בדמויות הצבעוניות שחלפו ברחוב ומשוחחים על סיפוריה של אבהטי. כשהמלצר הגיע לבסוף הזמנו מאכלים מבושלים ומים בבקבוקים, כהרגלנו, נמנעים ממזון טרי וממים שלא הגיעו בבקבוקים חתומים.

את השיעורים הראשונים בקלקולי קיבה קיבלנו כבר בבייג'ינג ואולם, הדרך החמקמקה בה התבטא הדבר בהודו שינה את גישתנו לאכילה מהקצה אל הקצה. בסין, חזותה של המסעדה אליה נכנסנו אמר כמעט הכל על רמתה ההגיינית. לא כך הדבר בהודו שבה גם המפוארת שבמסעדות איתגרה את בריאותו של הלקוח. לעולם לא אשכח את החוויה שעברה עלינו במסעדת היוקרה בכלכתה, מקום שהומלץ בחום ויוחצן בהרחבה ב- Lonely Planet.

לחובתנו ניתן לאמר שנתקלנו במספר לא מבוטל של רמזים ואזהרות שכמו צעקו לעברנו להדיר את רגלינו מהמקום; שקיות האשפה הקרועות שנערמו מול שער הכניסה המפואר, המלצרים הלבושים בחליפות מעונבות כשלרגליהם סנדלים בלויים והריחות החריפים עד אימה שעלו מהמטבח. נוסיף על כך את העובדה שכלכתה, לכל הדעות, היא אחת הערים המטונפות בעולם ותקבלו את המתכון המושלם להינזרות מאכילה. אבל הרעב בכוחו לטשטש את צו ההגיון, לעוור את האדם ולדחוק אותו לנוע בעקבות תאוותיו.

"יש להם בשר," לחשה טסה כשהבטנו בתפריט המהודר הממוסגר לצד דלת הכניסה.

"בשר," ליקקתי את שפתי בערגה, פתאום נזכר בטעם ובמרקם. עד אותו היום, כל שהכרנו היתה הודו הצימחונית.

"אדוני, (Sir)?" אמר לטסה שומר הסף רחב הגרם. היא חרקה בשיניה והסתובבה לעברו בחיוך קר. ההודים, מסיבה שלא היתה ברורה לשנינו, פנו אל טסה בתואר, Sir. בתחילה הדבר העביר אותה על דעתה ואף גרם לחיכוכים לא מעטים ביננו ובין המקומיים ואולם, עם חלוף הימים, התרגלנו לעובדה, (אני לפחות התרגלתי), וטסה למדה להבליג על העלבון ולנצור את לשונה. גם לי הם קראו, Sir, דבר שבהחלט חיבבתי, חיבה שהתגברה כשקיבלתי יחס מועדף ברגע ששמעו את שמי:

"Your name is Gandhi?" הם היו שואלים בתדהמה.

""Gadi, not Gandhi

"Gandhi is a very good name. A very good name!"


לפחות פעמיים זכינו בחדרים המשובחים במלונות בהם ביקרנו ואף בתוספות מיוחדות לתבשילים במסעדות – הכל תודות להורי שקראו לי, (כך לפחות לפי ההודים), בשם המנהיג הדגול.

"Sir," חזר שומר הסף על פנייתו אל טסה, פניו בוהקים מזיעה ומאושר. "כדאי להיכנס. יש לנו את הקבבים הטובים בכלכתה. אולי אפילו הטובים בעולם!"

הוא לא היה צריך לומר יותר מכך. פרצנו פנימה, ריר ניגר מפיותינו הפעורים, נחירינו מתרחבים לקלוט את ניחוחות התבשילים. מלצר חד חושים נעמד למולנו בחיוך, לשניה חוסם את דרכינו, מעביר מבט חטוף, מזהה את הנחישות שעל פנינו ומיד סב על עקביו ומוביל במהירות את הדרך לשולחן מרוחק. עם כל צעד שפסענו גדל הריגוש הקולינארי שאחז בנו, הרעב למאכלי בשר – למבושל, מטוגן או סתם על הגריל, מעביר אותנו על דעתינו.

התיישבנו והכרחנו את המלצר להשאר ולעמוד לצידנו בזמן שעברנו על התפריט ובחרנו ממגוון המטעמים.

"זה הכל, אדוני?" הוא שאל את טסה כשהגישה לו את התפריט בחזרה. היא שיחררה אותו בחיוך רחב, הארוחה הצפוייה משכיחה ממנה את סלידתה מהתואר הלא מחמיא בעליל.

חיכינו בקוצר רוח ועשר דקות מאוחר יותר חזר המלצר כשהוא נושא על ראשו מגש כסף מבריק, עמוס במאכלים. ברגע שהמגש נגע בשולחן שלחנו ידיים ופצחנו באכילה, לועסים בקולי קולות בעוד המלצר מתמרן בין זרועותינו ופורס את שאר המנות על המפה הצהבהבה.

"רק רגע," אמרתי לכשסיים את מלאכתו ופנה ללכת.

"כן, אדוני?"

"הקבב לא חם," התלוננתי בפה מלא בשר.

"אבל אתה אוכל מהם."

"את החלק הקר שלהם. אפשר לחמם את השאר?"

הוא כיווץ את גביניו והביט בצלחת לרגע.

"בשביל מה?" שאל לבסוף. "זה רק הרגע יצא מהמטבח."

"כי הקבב קר."

"בלתי אפשרי," אמר בנחרצות ושלח יד אל הצלחת, נוגע באחד הקבבים עם גב ידו ומנענע את ראשו לצדדים בתנועה חדה. מצחו נחרש קמטים אבל נראה שהוא עדיין לא שוכנע בצדקת טרונותי. הבטנו בו בתדהמה מהולה בגועל כשהחל ללוש ולעסות את הקבבים ביסודיות, אצבעותיו בוצעות ופוצעות את נתחי הבשר, צפורניו שוברות את אחידותם, פורמות ומחטטות, אומדות את הטמפרטורה הפנימית.

"אתה צודק," אמר בסוף התהליך ואסף את הצלחת אל המגש. "מצטער אדוני. אני אדאג לחמם זאת כהלכה."

הוא צעד עם הצלחת אל המטבח ואנחנו המשכנו לאכול בדממה, נוצרים את תלונותינו ומתעלמים מהעובדה שהיו עוד תבשילים שסבלו מטמפרטורה נמוכה מהצפוי. כשהמלצר חזר מספר רגעים מאוחר יותר עם הקבבים נמנענו מלטעום למרות שהפעם נראה כי חוממו כהלכה – וידאתי זאת עם הידיים, נאמן לשיטתו של המלצר…

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